The Do’s & Dont’s when you see ABUSE
Today I feel compelled to write about ABUSE ,a term many have heard/know of but seldom understand.I see a lot of people intrigued by your life,they want to know.
We live in a society where we judge others by our own parameters.
This is an appeal to such people,if someone they know is struggling and you wish to help ,which one must ,there are certain Do’s n dont’s to follow.
1.Never judge their story wearing your rose tinted glasses.They might be doing their best to cope with the difficult situation.
2.Never tell the victim that it’s NORMAL and men do that you know.It’s their male ego you hurt.This happens.2 wrongs dont make a right.
Incase the victim is a man,for God’s sake,Never make fun of him ,imposing the so called defination of him being a super human.A man can be equally sensitive ,kindhearted ,emotional and be Abused.For them its even more difficult to open up.So if they do,give them a patient hearing .By being insensitive towards him ,cracking jokes of him being dominated by a woman , you are being an ally to the abuser ,knowingly or unknowingly.Hear them out it is you who wanted to help .
3.Never say,”If its so bad why dont you just leave”?First learn what ABUSE”is.
4.Always remember ABUSE messes up the most intelligent people with the strongest minds.By the time one realises ,they are too deep into it.
There is a survival mechanism in the brain and the nervous system that betray our intellectual mind when coping with an abusive relationship.
5.Victims are not stupid people.They are dealing with one of the most terrifying experiences from the closest of human bonds that are suppossed to actually be their support system.
6.Oh!if it’s so bad ,how can you be so happy,dressed so well all the time?
You are saying,a Victim has to cry out aloud,in tattars to prove he/she is abused?
The victim has a right to steal a few moments from life and smile,don’t you think so?
7.After one has shared their story with you,which is always keep in mind,an extremly difficult step and needs a lot of courage to speak up,being there…your close proximity to the abuser proves you nullifying the victims pain right then and there and justyfying the ABUSE !
8.Next time you want to be a Messiah in someone’s life ,make sure you know what you are dealing with.You may be the reason the agony of a sufferring ,tired ,battered soul increases manifolds.
P.S.Friends and family ,pl do not start calling me up terrifyied.Not neccessarily whatever I write is about Me.I observe what goes around us and I understand abuse and hence this writeup .